


I Can't Leave - Oneshot

by MaybeDefinitely404



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, description of slightly graphic intrusive thoughts, fear of intruders, imaginary violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28862487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaybeDefinitely404/pseuds/MaybeDefinitely404
Summary: Remus’ intrusive thoughts get just a bit too much for him to handle. Good ole Janus comes to the rescue.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	I Can't Leave - Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever stop projecting on favorite characters? Probably not, fam.   
> Word Count: 1.2k

The upstairs bathroom light was still on when Janus walked into their front door, giving an exhausted shout of “Remus, I’m home!” through the otherwise silent house. In front of him, somewhere in the darkness, was a quiet shuffle and he rolled his eyes, flicking on the lights after locking the door.

“Good evening, rat.” Despite his general displeasure of the brown and white schnauzer mutt, he stepped up to his kennel and gave him an awkward pet through the bars. The dog barely paid attention to him, flicking his ear when it was touched, as if saying ‘screw off, I’m sleeping’. He was startlingly like Remus. 

It kind of made sense, since Remus was the one to find him stuck in a dumpster; whether he had been looking for scraps or had been tossed in, they never found out. Janus hated dogs, they were loud and smelled bad and caused nothing but problems, but when he opened the door to see his rain soaked boyfriend, dangling the dirty mutt in front of him like a child, he knew he had no choice. He was quickly dubbed Cornball, for reasons Janus would never understand but Remus adored, and he was the newest member of their little family. 

Janus stood up straight again, Cornball shutting his eyes again and curling tighter into a ball of apathy. For the first time, he noticed the house was oddly quiet for a light still being on. He’d expect a shower running, at least. Remus probably just forgot to flip the switch, he thought with another fond eyeroll and took the stairs to the second floor, intending to do nothing but flop onto their bed and sleep. Tomorrow was his first day off in two weeks, a result of them being short staffed at work. 

But it seemed his plans would have to be put on pause. 

When he rounded the top of the stairs, at the end of the small hall, the bathroom door stood open, and Remus was sitting on the ground, staring at him. His eyes were red rimmed, hair damp and sticking up in every direction, wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. Behind him, bunched on the floor, was a stack of towels and clothes, and the mirror was just losing its last remnants of steam.

“Hello,” Janus said quietly, sitting down in front of Remus, separated only by the bathroom’s threshold. Remus blinked.

“Hi.” When he spoke, his throat sounded raw. His chest shook with another stuttered breath.

“Why don’t you come to bed, Remus? You look exhausted.” Janus reached out a hand slowly, careful not to cross the line between the hallway and his boyfriend. 

“I can’t.”

“Oh?” Janus retreated, folding his hands on his lap, “And why is that?” His voice held no mockery, only steady calmness that Remus desperately needed in episodes like this. 

“I can’t leave the bathroom.”

“Okay. Why’s that?” 

Remus blinked hard a couple times, whole face scrunching with the effort, and unconsciously reached up a hand to tug at his hair. _Probably why it’s all over the place._

“Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t, dear. I would never.”

“Okay… uhm,” He leaned his head against the open door, effectively smooshing his hair into his face, “Cornball was barking. While I was showering. And I yelled at him to be quiet, but he kept barking. He usually stops when I tell him to.”

He hesitated, and Janus was silent, allowing him to speak on his own time. 

“But then it changed, and it sounded like he was screaming, but I couldn’t tell if it was real or… just in my head. And then I got this intrusive thought that someone was in the house, and they strangled Cornball, and now they’re waiting in our room for me.”

“Oh, honey, why would I ever laugh at that?” Janus finally reached beyond their invisible barrier to run a hand through Remus’ damp hair, scritching his skull lightly. 

“I can’t leave the bathroom until Cornball makes a noise.”

There it was; the ultimatum that Remus was forced to follow by his own mind. Even if Janus was there, and he checked the whole house top to bottom, Remus wouldn’t feel able to leave until his intrusive thoughts were satisfied. No matter how nonsensical the task was. A thought crossed Janus’ mind.

“Wait, how long have you been here?”

“Two hours.”

“Honey,” Janus repeated in a near whisper, letting his hand shift to Remus’ jaw, his thumb rubbing the other’s cheekbone. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Left my phone in my room. My mind was too loud for shower music-” A concept Janus didn’t exactly understand, but knew his boyfriend experienced regularly; the idea of a loud mind. “Even if I had it, I wouldn’t be able to talk. I couldn’t make a noise. I just… couldn’t.”

Janus made another sad hum. “Hang on for just a second, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

When Remus nodded, Janus stood up and took the stairs back down, speed walking to Cornball’s crate and pulling the lazy dog out of it. He was a limp ball, a true testimony to how much Remus spoiled him rotten, only moving to shift his weight to be more comfortable in Janus’ arms. The mutt lifted his head as they trekked up the stairs, the zone he was generally not allowed to enter (Janus wanted some sacred ground that wasn’t littered with dog fur), and full on began to tremble seeing Remus sitting on the floor.

His boyfriend perked up upon seeing his little friend, and the dog leapt from Janus’ arms to launch himself into Remus’ lap, immediately taking to decorating his face with slobber. 

“Aw, hi Cornball. Yes, yes I love you too. I’m so glad you’re not dead, yes I am,” Remus cooed in a dreadful baby talk reserved for the dog only, even though his voice was still cracking with exhaustion, “Can you sit? _Sit_? Yeah, good boy! Now speak. _Speak_.”

Cornball let out a single bark, wagging his tail rapidly, and Remus’ shoulders visibly relaxed. 

“Alright now, my love?” Janus murmured, and when he nodded again and began to push himself to his feet, he scooped up the mutt and went to put him back once more. “You were the solution, but you also were the root of the problem,” He hissed as he locked the kennel, “Don’t look so proud of yourself, rat.” If dogs could look unimpressed, Cornball sure did, circling three times and dropped into his bed. For what he hoped to be the final time that night, Janus climbed the stairs to their bedroom. 

Remus was just outside of the bathroom when he reached the top, shaking like a leaf. He was on his feet though, and across the threshold, which was significant progress.

“Well done, dear.” With no prompting, he took Remus’ arm to steady him, and lead him at his own pace into their bedroom. The younger man looked around the room quickly, eyes flittering at all the dark crevices the shadows created, and to appease his fear, Janus did a lap around the room. Closet was clear, under the bed was empty, nothing behind the door. 

“Thanks,” Remus whispered as Janus closed the door, flipping the lock for extra measure. 

“You’re welcome, love,” He responded, sliding under the covers next to Remus after changing into pajamas. No hesitation, the other latched onto him not unlike a koala baby, burying his face into Janus’ chest. 

Not that he’d ever complain. 

“I love you, Jayjay.” 

He’d complained _a lot_ about that nickname. 

“I love you too, Remus.”

Tonight he’d let it slide, though.


End file.
